Episodes

  • How to deal with parents who are emotionally unsupportive, unloving, say mean things, are manipulative or compare you to others. The goal of this episode is to move on and heal so that you can be happier and more loving to others. It’s a starting point for putting down the wounds and not living through that place of need, so much. I do think this is an issue best tackled with a therapist because you have do a lot of processing and get perspective. I am a huge fan of therapy and I can’t recommend it enough! You can change everything in your life – including how you relate to others in your family – just by changing yourself. So if you want a healthier relationship with your family, I would start there.

    I know this is a tough and painful wound. It doesn’t have to define you forever. Start with a goal and everything else will organically unfold. Sending much love… xo.
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  • This is an episode for anyone who feels like they are obsessed with being prettier, younger, something-er, in some external way, and you feel that it is reducing your wellbeing in life. This came up when I was interviewed by Melissa Rivers. She asked something like, “What if you’re never happy with the way you look? How do you stop feeling that way?” What she was struggling with was the emptiness and that feeling of never enough that comes with a constant pursuit of beauty. The products, the treatments, the correcting of some flaw we see in our physical selves. What happens if you are an image-focused person, or you happen to live in a society that is super image-focused, is you get warped. You stop being able to see yourself and instead you only see what is wrong with yourself. So if you could use a new lens, this is an episode for you! And heads up – it’s a messy episode! Sorry hahaha. My whole family has COVID right now.
     
    Happy new year lovely friends… xo Sarah May B.
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  • This episode is targeted at you having a vision of a future life that is beautiful and rewarding. Seeing it clearly. And not being embarrassed about going through that process. If you – like me, are often too embarrassed to take on practices like this, then I want to call that out. How silly is that, right? If that’s one thing that we can all put down at the end of this year – for good. Never be too embarrassed to try something out. To invest in it. To mean it. It’s wasted energy. Feeling silly held me back from so much. But no longer! I think allowing your mind to wander and paint pretty pictures of different futures is so instrumental in seeing the ratio you want to create in your current schedule.
    In order to see a life that will make us happier, we have to be able to think outside our sphere, and our routine. Which can be challenging! As we head into the end of the year and toward the new year, I think one really important step is getting clear about what you want. I don’t mean making a vision board – unless that is something you enjoy doing that you find resonates with you – then by all means go for it!
    I have a vision of being in the UK for a month, and the way my routine dictates my life, that will not come about unless I really get into the reflection and action stage of that dream.
    The reason for this is I remember early on in my self-help beginnings I was kind of tentative about investing in the guidance given, specifically when it required I dream big. Like I was still “on the outside” of the genre and poking fun at it, deciding how much of it I believed and how much I thought was cliché horse doodoo. And now what I would consider well along the path of my self-help dive, I think one thing that is very important if you are growing and building toward something –is being able to see a life you want. I think that can be difficult especially when you are limited by a routine or feeling stuck.
    It's also something that feels a little “fluffy” like it’s a waste of time. So this is an episode that makes a case for why this is important and also very powerful. And at the end we are going to go through some actual exercises to start to ideate around the life you want.
    Sending you so much love and if you are in search of additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB
     
    To make a donation and to see more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com
     
    Xo!
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  • This is for anyone who needs some help to navigate difficult feelings and situations that come up around the holidays – whether that be dealing with family drama, overwhelm, or loneliness.
    If a lot of “stuff” is coming up for you right now, know that you are not alone. A lot of feels come up during the end of the year: it’s heightened. There are a lot of expectations – ours and those of loved ones. We tend to feel like we need to be somewhere in our life, be with someone, have certain things, or be a certain way – especially when it comes to putting on a certain face around family. And if you are working on yourself, it can be just enough to push you over the edge of “okay” toward “freaking out” or “overwhelmed.”
    So the shorthand of this episode is – do what you need to do to take care of yourself and honor yourself! That and be very aware of your thoughts: don’t let them take over your experience of this time. You get to choose the thoughts you want to follow, and the ones that are not helpful.

    Sending much love – and if you want to check out additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

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  • To listen to when you start to get into that energy of unaccomplished/ugly/stupid/fat/alone/I don’t like myself for fill-in-the-blank reason. This is an episode aimed at returning you to a feeling of confidence and embodiment, in the immediate onset of the “I suck” energy. I think one thing that comes up – all the time, but often during holidays when we are returning to old friends, siblings, family – is that sense of comparison. And a heightened sense of self-awareness. And it can be triggering – we can often be leveled back to an old self – one less balanced, less confident, or less convicted in who they are. So this is an episode to hopefully help you get back to “YOU” in the all caps written-in-lights, sense.

    You can understand your felt experience as in large part authored by the set of thoughts you repeat to yourself. So the goal is to get back to a place where we’re repeating the right kinds of thoughts to ourselves! The ones that make us feel our own sense of limitlessness. You are awesome and you know how to take care of yourself. The most important thing is to START taking some constructive actions. Start building the house of confidence back up – layer by layer!

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    For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com and for additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

    Xo!
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  • This is a super short episode because it’s aimed at a very specific reflection exercise. It came about because one thing that I have noticed in my One-One-one sessions, is that people repeatedly say the change they want, very clearly, though they often don't hear themselves saying it. The change you want and need to make – in order to be happier– is simple and finite, if we can just hear ourselves. However, often we don’t because we are saying it unconsciously. So this is an episode all about how to make that thing conscious. It's all about discovering what you are yearning for, what you want to change, what condition is making you unhappy, and how to alter that simply. It’s a shorter episode because it’s really simple as an idea – and it really revolves around some specific journal prompts.

    For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo

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  • This is a reflection episode all about how to foster originality and grow your sense of selfhood (and self-love). There’s something that happens when people become a mass – there’s a leaning toward sameness. This is a recording in service of inviting you all to lean into the things you think, feel and do, that no one else does. How to stand by yourself. And with that, I believe you will grow a loving friendship with yourself.
     
    For more of my work check out YayWithMe.com xo!
     
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  • This is a sensory kind of reflection on feeling more tied to your sense of wonder and aliveness. An invitation to anyone who gets into a default of doing and checking off boxes, versus feeling a sense of awe and rest.  
    This is a spur of the moment record done post-rain, an offering I wanted to throw out there for anyone who is looking to bring more play into their lives. It’s my current “frame” by which I am reexamining the habits I have in my life.

    I hope you enjoy! Xox
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  • This is an interview I do with longtime friend Lauri Burns, founder of The Teen Project. It’s all about that little voice that guides us from within and how we can strengthen our awareness of it so we can be guided when we need it the most. Warning: this episode has some sad topics in it, including abuse of children. If you need to skip that part you can stop listening right when I ask Lauri to tell a story from her new book.

    For anyone who wants to donate to The Teen Project:
    Visit TheTeenProject.com
    For the book about Lauri’s life story (cover featuring yours truly) check out: https://amzn.to/3mchiv4
    For the book from the girls of Vera’s Sanctuary:
    https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/sanctuary-of-the-heart
    For her new book check The Teen Project website in December!

    What is that little voice that nudges me at the most random times? How does it sound? How can I tap into it more and allow it to guide me? This is for anyone who wants to grow their sense of spirituality, or even just understand that little voice that I am calling “intuition” a bit more. It’s that weird little voice that nudges you to go back and investigate something random and then you find your long lost wedding ring. Or that thought you get of someone you love who is deceased, but then you find an oddly perfect letter from them – that pertains to this moment.

    To be clear - I am not preaching any God in this episode, I am describing something that could be totally scientifically explained. It’s really about opening up to recognizing that we have these other senses that are very attuned to things that our mind cannot understand.  

    I personally grew up with a bad experience of religion – and nowadays religion is less popular than ever, despite this, I think we life suffers without an awareness of this “muscle” – this sense, in ourselves. And when we get triggered or creeped out by spirituality or the non-explainable, we are deliberately shutting off a part of ourselves that can sense into much “greater” than the known/explained universe. Those nudges of intuition are subtle and often bizarre. The voice cannot be rationalized or explained because it’s smarter than our brain – so that’s where I want to start: don’t try and rationalize your way through this episode. If you trust me at all, be open to entertaining the topics discussed.

    Also for anyone I trigger with this episode. That is totally fine and I get it. Put this on a shelf and listen to it on a day you feel more playful and curious. Personally, when I was in the thick of my pain and recovery of various types – I wasn’t able to believe in anything lofty. I was screening out anyone who might think anything too lofty. So I relate to you. I will say a lot of that comes from just being in a place where you are struggling to get grounded and even know how you feel – in your body. So that is where your priorities should lie. Sending love your way.

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  • This is really about when we start to enact the emotions, fears, losses, and wounds of someone in a previous generation – be that a parent, a parent's parents, or maybe a combination of these plus a self from many years ago who went through something really painful and damaging. Regardless, it can make you act out some pretty big feelings that are not truly aligned with the way you live your life in the present. This is how the course of our relationships can be changed for the worse - unless we become aware of these unconscious scripts.
     
    SO MUCH of what we feel and enact is not ours. And it can wreak havoc on your closest adult relationships. So if something emotional is coming up for you that feels heightened or it happens to be looping, this may be an episode for you!
     
    The book I mention in this episode is here:
    https://amzn.to/3lyYCVZ
     
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    Xox
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  • For those in the throes of an obsession with an addict or high on your codependency – maybe you’re in love with someone and they start using or you discover they have an addiction, be that drugs, sex, alcohol. And they have continued to use despite you telling them you need them to stop.

    If you are in the midst of a relationship that suddenly turned crazy due to one partner resuming an addiction, this can lead to you feeling crazy, yourself. This is to listen to in the moment this occurs – especially if you feel like you are losing yourself and your sanity.

    Major caveat: This is for if you have an adult in your life who is using – not if you are a parent with a child who is using. Things are complicated when you have a child because you are responsible for caring for them and they are not adults yet capable of caring for themselves. I would not give you the same advice.

    I know it’s tough when you are in an area where there is no access to good 12-step meetings – so if you don’t have any friends, family, or concrete resources like a good therapist with experience in addiction or a good meeting like COSA, Alanon or SLA, then this is for you. Because I listed this in the episode and they are one of my sponsors – please check out: BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe for online access to therapists!

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    The two books I mention in this episode are here for the daily reflection book:
    https://amzn.to/3CWwke8
     
    And here for the audiobook:
    https://amzn.to/2Y2uklu
     
    And hang in there. I know this part is really not fun. Xoxo.
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  • This is a follow-up episode to the previous boundaries episode a few weeks ago. It’s to listen to when you are in need of help in setting boundaries with a loved one, if you need some more tactical advice. I cover things to say to that person as well as ways to ground if you are feeling confused and lost in their arguments. It’s also mainly to remind you that boundaries are positive and loving for all people – you and the people in your life you are setting them with. Sending much love and know that it gets easier and more logical as you practice this! Xox!
    To check out my Patreon page including some exclusive content head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB
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  • This is for anyone who wants to quit something but is terrified of trying again – or feels hopeless about it. Or overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve already proven to yourself that you don’t like life without this thing enough to stay off of it. Or you are too disheartened to try again.

    I would bet that although you still do it, you hate this thing so much. You hate that it causes you so much sadness and lost time. And lost self-esteem. And you wish more than anything that you could just press a button and this thing would be gone from your life. That you didn’t have to struggle with this problem. A problem that stays between you and others. That keeps you from love or health or confidence. Of really feeling you can invest in your life being long and happy.

    I know that feeling well. It’s like living as a dead person – you are always aware of this dark shadow that is – that thing. The deadly addiction. And you want to turn off your ears and mind to it because it really feels like “I have no other option – so why would I listen?”

    But what you can’t see from here is that change is possible when you have the right logic. Change is totally possible when you have the understanding that allows you to truly let go of this problem. I’ll talk a lot about my particular addictions in this episode. And here are the books that I mention – PLEASE READ ONE!!!

    For smokers:
    https://amzn.to/3mVEM8N
    For vapers:
    https://amzn.to/3kEK5q9
    For over-drinkers (but I think it will apply to drugs, too):
    https://amzn.to/3mP65RX
    Another for more severe drinkers:
    https://amzn.to/3kKvLMQ
    Haven’t read this but it’s using his principles, about emotional eating:
    https://amzn.to/3BoYehY

    This episode is dedicated to my aunt Margaret. I love you. And I will miss you forever.
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  • This is an episode about good boundaries: how to set them as well as WHY to set them. You can think about having one loose boundary as having a leak in a boat: if there’s one hole (aka I have a bad boundary when it comes to dating – I can’t walk away when they don’t follow through) this means your whole sense of self is perpetually sinking. It resets the baseline for your entire life. You will be compromised in your self-respect, your worth, your self-love. It affects everything about your life. I created this episode because a lot of us don’t know what the hell a boundary is – and also why they directly translate into whether or not you like yourself and love yourself. This is a HUGE CORNERSTONE piece of confidence, happiness, lack of fear, lack of jealousy and the ability to actualize personal growth. If you change this ONE HABIT and begin to set firm boundaries, I kid you not it will change everything about your life for the better. It’s AMAZING in what it affects. IMO, it’s the most freeing and powerful thing you can do. So with that – here is the show! 3 parts – what why and how the tools. 
    To check out my Patreon page including some exclusive content head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB
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  • We have experiences that imprint the physical responses we have to stressors in our life – big or small. So if you are feeling a sense of inner chaos and overwhelm, or you are feeling like you cannot handle all that is happening in your life, this is likely at least in part related to your physiological wiring. Meaning the experiences that impacted you the most from your upbringing. Maybe you get that feeling of panic or you have been feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness that causes you to procrastinate. Yes, stress has a lot to do with our literal life circumstances, but what we bring to those circumstances is also a huge piece of the puzzle.
    So if you are feeling a sense of “I can’t handle it” – or you have been snapping a lot lately, or you’ve been feeling numb – or very irritable, or perhaps very controlling and like a motor that is slowly running into the ground– this is an episode for you. I cover a lot of ways to lighten your load and come back to a place of resource. There are three parts to this episode – the what why and how the tools.
    If you’re looking into having kids and you’d like to support our latest sponsor, check out Modern Fertility! It’s the easy and affordable way to test your fertility hormones at home with a simple finger prick. Mail it in with a prepaid label, and you’ll get your personalized results within 10 days. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to www.ModernFertility.com/HelpMe xoxo!
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  • This is for anyone who is fixating on what is better about someone else and devaluing yourself. The flux that is your own perceived value. It can become an obsession – something that doesn’t let go of your brain – and haunts you almost like a worry you cannot put to rest. I am in particular focusing on the measurement that may be done while online, maybe that’s with social media like Instagram, or with photos – some kind of evidence that you get obsessed with and cannot seem to stop weighing and quantifying. “If this thing I perfect, where do I fall compared to this thing?” Because just like anything, this is a perspective that – with deliberate effort and focus, can be shifted. 
    For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com 
    To support our latest sponsors, you can check out BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe
    Or you can check out the podcast Chatting with Candace on Apple Podcasts!
    Xo!
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  • How to move on if you didn’t get any explanation as to why someone is ending a relationship. Maybe that’s a romantic relationship. Maybe that’s a work relationship. Or maybe that’s a friendship. Because in that situation you might be searching for grounding that never comes. And this can be one of the hardest ways to end something – because it’s in itself a trauma.
    If you are in need of more information on this subject, you can check out The Break-Up Album on YayWithMe.com/shop/the-break-up-album
    That is my “break-up coach in a podcast album” that deals with how to move through a break-up in the most empowering, self-loving way possible. This is really like a truncated version of a chapter in the podcast album. And if you are really struggling, I highly recommend checking out BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe and chatting with a therapist. This can bring up a lot of old trauma around loss. Regardless - I send you my love and positive vibes of healing and self-discovery! xox
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  • This is an episode for starting to work your way out of a codependent relationship.
    When you’re in a relationship that really doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. Maybe it feels really unhealthy, or you know you’re not rewarded or happy. But you can’t leave – and you find yourself getting pulled back in again and again. This is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship with a person who they don’t trust. Maybe you have had issues with them in the past – they blame you for the issues in the relationship, they make you feel insecure and that you’re the crazy one. Maybe they have had a negative effect on your life – you’ve distanced from your friends, you have little positive input in your life outside of the time you spend together – and despite knowing that, you can’t seem to do anything about it. Heads up - as with all of my episodes, this is based on my personal experience and not a professional diagnosis. I strongly recommend therapy for this issue in particular. It worked great for me! There are 3 parts to this episode – the what, why and how – the tools!

    And if you are interested in checking out our sponsor for this episode and getting $200 off all mattresses plus 2 eco-rest pillows, head to BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe
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  • This is focused on becoming more aware and also deliberate in your words – curating a more positive and empowering story for yourself and for those you love and enjoy, in life. This episode is also targeted at helping you to recognize your words: making them conscious and guided – because they very much narrate the future of your life. The ones you use inside and importantly outside, really do tell You and others– how things will go. Also, the stories we tell ourselves are often not even our own. We inherit them from parents or others who have modeled a situation for us in formative years: you might find yourself repeating things and really feeling them – even though they’re not true to your life situation.
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  • Or, "It's not about you." There are all sorts of unconscious processes that occur in individuals and they show up in our relationships. Usually, if we are getting into that loop of reactivity, it’s not about what it’s about. Rather, it’s a chain reaction of misunderstandings. Or it can often be due to both people feeling tapped and therefore yanking at the other person to please see them and give them attention. The best way to navigate out of a situation like this is to change that habit and bring in the feeling of bounty and openness. Easier said than done, but this is an episode aimed and getting you to that state. And also reminding yourself, if your partner is venting onto you– it’s not about me!
    To go more in-depth on this type of information you can check out Gottman here:
    https://amzn.to/2St6rAs
    For more of my work you can check out YayWithMe.com!
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